This moral dilemma can only be answered by you.
The Pitfalls Of Dating A Married Woman
In many cases, a married woman is playing the field simply to find a physical relationship. However, the married woman you date may fall in love with you or decide to end her marriage to be with you. It's important to be clear about your relationship from the beginning, so that the woman you're dating doesn't throw her family life away only to find out that you are not looking for a serious commitment. It will be difficult to break up with a woman who sacrificed everything to be with you.
If you are looking for a serious relationship, getting involved with a married woman is not the best way to go. First, many married women who have affairs are not looking to end their marriages, meaning you could be putting your time and emotions into a dead-end relationship.
Secondly, women and men who cheat on their spouses once will likely cheat again, meaning you can never truly trust a woman who leaves her husband to be with you. You may eventually find yourself on the other side of this situation if you stay with a cheater. There is a certain sense of danger in dating a married woman, but this danger could materialize in physical form, depending on your date's husband. Men who find out about an affair can react in a number of ways and may be pushed to violence against both the wife and the other person involved. If you are participating in an affair with a married woman, understand that there is a very real risk of physical harm should her husband learn of the affair and react violently.
A wedding ring traditionally means a woman is off limits. Meet Singles in your Area! Morals Dating a married woman puts her in the position of losing her family. False Promises In many cases, a married woman is playing the field simply to find a physical relationship. Relationship Prospects If you are looking for a serious relationship, getting involved with a married woman is not the best way to go.
Maybe things could have been different in another life? It was Lauren who contacted me first.
17 ‘Other Men’ Explain What It’s Like To Have An Affair With A Married Woman | Thought Catalog
I was surprised but thrilled when I saw her name flash onto my screen. In a subsequent flirty email she boldly suggested that I cook her a meal at my Wimbledon flat some time. My heart missed a beat. Did she really mean what I thought she meant? When we met for a drink, we seemed to have so much in common: I loved the way she carried herself.
She was stylish but confident enough to be self-deprecating. But I was reluctant to get involved. She was married and people could get hurt — not least her eight-year-old son, Jake. By the third time we met, however, I simply found her too alluring to resist. From our first kiss we were a couple. It became physical very quickly. What I found irresistible was the way she came across as prim and proper, but also delightfully naughty at the same time. I loved the shy, almost disbelieving smile when I paid her compliments.
Had no one told her how attractive she was before? I adored how she smelled and the look she had when her seriousness descended into playfulness. In cafes, she always spooned the froth off the top of my cappuccinos. I would pretend to be annoyed, but secretly loved it. At night, I cherished it when she fell asleep with her head on my chest, and the way she laughed gently in her sleep. We began to meet once a week whenever she was in London.
She worked from home, researching for TV producers, and we met when her meetings finished in town. Her family home was in rural Hertfordshire, but she kept a flat in North London, which her parents had bought for her before she was married. How falling in love with a married woman ruins your life: A man tells his side of the story file photo.
She stayed in the flat when she was working late in London or on days out during the school holidays with her son. She and her husband never stayed there at the same time. It made me feel special. There were times, looking at her in the evening with a wine glass in her hand, or in the morning, waking up together, when I felt like the luckiest man alive. During the snatched moments we spent together, life just felt so right. So right that I sometimes forgot she was married.
Where to Look for a Married Woman to Date
But her wedding ring troubled me. It was all I could feel when we held hands and a constant reminder that she went home to another man. I finally came clean: Would you mind taking it off when I see you? Her ring came off surprisingly easily.
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If only leaving her husband could be as simple. After a few months, Lauren started to send me the sweetest cards and letters. Each card became the bookmark for the novel I was reading. Over those nine years she must have posted me several hundred. Even now, I am sometimes brought up short when I discover one in an old book. My cards to her were delivered in person.
They remained in her London flat, secreted away in a bundle in a bedside drawer. In retrospect, it was.
Spontaneity is the first casualty of infidelity. Our dates were planned weeks in advance. On the mornings we woke up together, Lauren always phoned her son to wish him a good day at school. She asked me to switch off my own phone in case it rang when she was talking to him.
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Early on, I asked her if she still slept with her husband Greg. Music to my ears. But I did want to go public, meet her parents, her friends, her son. Instead I was propelled into a world of secrecy. I became a scribble in her Mulberry diary. She would write down my initials on the evenings we were due to meet. Usually, as the evening went on she would relax. The lone diner on the next table was no longer a private investigator. Even so, when it was her turn to pay, she would do so in cash so as not to leave a paper trail.
As the months passed she let me have a set of keys to her flat and allowed me to leave a spare shirt in the wardrobe. Sometimes it was almost as if she wanted to be found out. At least that would save the difficult conversation I believed she would initiate with her husband one day. So we drifted on, enjoying the moments with each other and avoiding the big husband-shaped elephant in the room. As a travel writer, I was working abroad a great deal.
Maybe I was dating a married woman because unconsciously it fitted in with my chaotic lifestyle, even though I longed for intimacy at the same time. What kept me together emotionally was knowing she was waiting in the wings. I was prepared to compromise. I would wait until her son finished school if that was what she wanted. I would give up on having children of my own if it meant being with her. I thought about how many women had been in my position, waiting for a man to leave his wife.
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As the lover you get the edited highlights of a marriage: A relationship with none of the boring bits. But what we lacked was emotional closeness — that lovely sense of wasting time together and the accompanying feeling of certainty. Deep down I knew I deserved more. But I feared I would never find the same chemistry with anyone else. I met women at parties and through work who were single and attractive.
But despite numerous opportunities I was faithful to Lauren. Ironically, my loyalty lay with a woman who was not loyal. Looking back, the relationship left me feeling deeply frustrated and my self-esteem took a hit. Lauren was forever saying goodbye. The joyous nights out were tainted by the fact that she would soon be on a train back to her family. We're used to hearing mistresses talk about how frustrated and guilt-ridden they feel.
But here a man reveals his side of the story file photo. I came to really hate that cafe. The hardest goodbyes were after the occasional weekends we went away — the more time we had spent together, the larger the hole I felt inside.